It’s easy to blame others for all that is wrong. Your parents, your partner, your ex-wife, your friend, your abuser, the government…and trust me I’ve been there (and occasionally slip back there too).
It’s easy to look outwards and judge all that others do or have done, as wrong and find validation in that, and certainly, it is valid. Because people do things that do not feel good. Parents say or do things that feel damaging & stay with us our entire lives. Our partners lash out and project their rage into our space. Your ex-partner does things you do not agree with. Your friend will do what is aligned to their highest values and you will feel left out. The government will take care of some people and not others the way we would like.
It’s inevitable that we will be let down and that we will want to point fingers and blame them for our feelings.
But where does living out life blaming those around us, get us? Where does focusing on all that others are doing as wrong cross the line of deflecting outwards what first needs balancing inwards?
In circle, i have seen this play out a lot. Where a person starts talking and the focus is all out there on others and their faults or society. Then something magical happens. Myself or my colleagues would gently ask them to speak from the I. To speak about what they are really feeling inside of them… and then boom an activation happens and the truth is ignited. The energy anchors in the room and all of a sudden everyone becomes more present and full-bodied. The real transformation happens. Clarity comes. The change is activated from within first. A power source is ignited.
Of course, I am not saying that we just ignore all the injustices in the world or let off anyone who ever hurt us bad back into our lives.
But I have a real inkling that if we all anchored way more deeply into ourselves, learnt to control our minds and moved out of victim consciousness, the ways in which we pushed for change would come from a stronger, more aligned, more compassionate, and wiser place within; and that we would truly have more to give this world.
We are no good to this world if we spend all our time focusing on how out there is the problem as much as the illusionary mind tells us otherwise.
In my experience when I have lived from that place I suffered more. I was weaker, I would move in and out of debilitating depressions. I would find myself only focusing on the negative and feeling hopeless. I was unstable as fuck. I had very little strength to really give what I am here to give and when I did give it, often came from anxiety states or rage states and then I would drop the ball.
We only have to look at some of the greats who made some epic changes in this world, the pattern is they found inner peace, forgiveness and stood strongly in self-responsibility because THEY KNEW that they were not going to be able to be the best use of themselves any other way.
The inner work leads to outer work. If your inner house is a mess then how is it you think you can actually successfully change the world for the better?
When you clean up your inner hub you can then clean up the world from a wise and balanced place of experience.
When you have owned your dark and light, cleaned out your disempowered shadow and come into love THEN you can better serve the things you love and stand for.
And sure you may be thinking oh yeah but your privileged, white and rich.
Tell me then…
How is it then that people have reached these states of consciousness beaten, battered and starved with nothing but prison bars around them?