Yesterday I wrote a comment on a post from a woman in a private group.
The topic addressed was about her fears of getting too wet & that a man “wouldn’t be able to feel her” if he was smaller all because a guy who was bigger said she got to “sloppy”.
The suggestion/prescription I gave was to become skilled in “suction sex”.
Suction sex is when you use the pelvic floor to pulse, suck on, sip in the person you are entwined with.
Both sexes can do this to invite greater feeling and it almost mimics the rhythmic patterns of the heart beat, creating a beautiful synconicity of bodies.
There is a variety of ways that we can build energy/tension/sensation in intercourse rather than relying on friction sex, which in itself is limiting.
What I wrote blew a few peoples minds, honestly I forget people don’t know what I do until I’m prodded.
The issue of loosing sensation when there is a high amount of fluids is only a problem if you solely rely on friction sex for pleasure which it seems that’s how a majority of folks fuck, with high intensity friction aka porn style.
Friction sex is but one style of penetration that mostly manifests through thrusting.
Extraordinary sex requires a few things including chemistry, skill, emotional openness and so on…
But a lot of it is all in the way you manoeuvre the erotic body to move with the aliveness of sensation.
Working your body and your sex organs to move in various different ways to build up your sensory experience/pleasure is how you create a vast erotic sensory journey.
This is how you take average sex to the realms of extraordinary sex.
This is a more cyclical experience of love making/fucking as opposed to a liniar experience of tension build up, release and finito.
By SLOWING DOWN and engaging your suction ability you are more deeply able to tune in and build the next wave of heightened peak energetic flow; basically you are able to build the subtle sensations up.
This is about evolving beyond friction sex as the primary movement of pleasure creation.
Combine it with other types of movement (thrusting, spiralling, pulsing, grinding etc) then you have yourself an adventure.
Suction sex is something both men and woman engage in. This is 101 of neo tantric sexual practice.
Jade eggs also prepare a woman for suction sex by teaching her to engage the pelvic floor, rather than the penis (or something else) just pushing itself in. This way the vagina owner chooses to engage in a type of active receiving, a pulsing and pulling.
It’s like the pussy actively saying fuck yes!
The practice of Karezza is also something that encourages this variant on penetration but is even more minimal and focused on the subtleties of bonding.
As a person expands on their erotic repertoire it’s very important to recognise that they may not know what they are feeling for. Again this is about sensitising and if you have been doing something one way for a long time, trying variants will feel different or vague until you deepen your relationship to those pathways of sensation.
Back to the topic of wetness.
Wetness is actually one of the ways subtle energy travels (think electricity travelling through water).
The only time I’ve noticed my sensation decline is if there is a focus on friction sex, and I ejaculate and that’s because female ejaculate (the type that comes from the bladder) is often way more watery than the thicker slippery textured fluids that come from the glans.
These ideas that pussy needs to be tight, not to wet and so on are symptoms of a desensitised erotic body, sex organs and energetic sensory awareness.
Boys/Men generally have conditioned themselves to focus on friction sex through a lack of education on how to pleasure themselves with variety and deeper sensitivity.
Therefore the maturing of the erotic man requires his sensory development of subtle energies to become masterful at deep intimacy and pleasure (same for anyone really).
This is an opportunity to explore different kinds of movements, ones that you can pull from your erotic tool box which btw every conscious person should be advancing themselves on otherwise be prepared for being left behind on the great adventure of the ever evolving body of sex!
Having erotic skills to action on enables you to shift, expand and deepen your experience. Hell you may even want to be still and meditate; who would of thought stillness in sex could be beneficial to your erotic experience! Lol
Anyway, that was my long winded answer.
Be sure to thank me later!
x Shaney Marie
📸 by @Documenting.Motherhood